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Shoot, they may take my job away next year and give it to you three.” Laughter. “So, Helen, a boyfriend, still a virgin, are you waiting for marriage?”“Oh, no! No. You see I didn’t have a very good life up to the time I found Michele. I had a family all my life but that wasn’t scratching the surface to what I found with Michele, Barb and Tim. So when they told me to take things slowly, don’t rush into anything, get comfortable and secure before taking new steps, that’s exactly what I did. I mean, you get one chance at first times and first times should be perfect, right?”A woman from the crowd shouted out, “Good for you, Helen. Good for all of you!!” Applause and cheers.The emcee was walking back and forth in front of us and stopped by me as the cheers started dying down, “And everyone thinks it takes raunchy to win this thing. I’m almost am afraid to ask this next question.” But he walked back to Helen. “Helen, your boyfriend … is he here tonight watching you?”“I hope he’s still. “That’s exactly right. It’s basically a neurological problem. The wiring isn’t quite up to snuff, and when certain wires are crossed, well, it shorts out. That’s your fit. The way we scan for a fit is generally to wire a subject up to an EKG and then give them various triggers until they start a fit and then record what is going on in the brain, to observe if what we see conforms to a storm in the brain. What you are seeing here is a classic epileptic fit, recorded directly from Mr. Hicks’ brain.”Everyone nodded.“But here’s the bit that I don’t get, and none of the experts I’ve consulted with get either. This is the strangest epileptic fit I’ve ever seen. While the fit itself is entirely consistent with the heavier fits, and the recovery time after is within the upper bounds of what we’ve seen in the past ... the triggers ... well.”“Triggers, Doc?” asked George.“Epileptic fits have triggers. Remember when I said the wires cross, causing a short? Well, something has to cause those.
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